I haven’t seen Requiem for a Day and Pi yet, but after I watched Darren Aronofsky’s recent flick The Fountain, I am officially an aficionado. I am beyond awed. The Fountain is a must- see intelligent movie with a heart. As I’ve mentioned, The Fountain is my first encounter with Aronofsky. Actually, my sole idea of his works, as to what I’ve read from some reviews, is that they are a bit melancholic yet very cerebral. That is, only intelligent movie viewers can appreciate them. But I don’t actually pride my self as a clever individual, just a simple movie lover. *wink*
The Fountain evolves around the life of Tommy Creo and the three parallel lives he lives (a conquistador from the 18th century, a doctor from the 21st century, an odd 26th century spaceman) and his/their quest to salvage his/their paramour. Merely watching (like watching a fish in an aquarium..understand?) it can bring an inattentive movie viewer to utter perplexity brought about by the scene sequencing. The film requires full attention and understanding. Nevertheless it is not a complicated piece; only complicatedly and wisely presented.
In a prima facie sense, the story seemed to evolved around the everlasting love these men to the women they love. In other words, just a quintessential love story. But as the movie progresses, the focus on the paradox of life and death slowly unravels. Indeed, this topic is a cliché. But Aronofsky presented it in such a surreal and philosophical way that everybody stops and contemplates on the idea but still very much grounded to reality. Death, no matter how we evade it, undeniably looms for each and every one of us. Nothing, even the purest love and devotion, cannot obliterate it. For in death there is life, and in life there is death. One cannot exist without the other. And the sole entrance to everlasting life is only death. “Finish it” is the recurring words in the entire movie. At first I thought it’s just the about the book Tommy’s wife would want to finish. But in the end, it is his life she wanted to be finished. “Death is a disease needed to be cured” said Tommy, but for me death is the cure to life itself. Morbid huh? But yes, i contemplate more about death than life.. i reckon it is far more interesting.. *wink*
pebi talking in gibberish again around 10:26 PM
Monday, June 25, 2007
my recent desperate move to find a new job is emailing consul assad of lebanon.. sinubukan ko lang. sumagot naman sya.. i think i'll be starting in the 15th of July.. yes!!!!!
talk about paglayo..hindi man ako binigyan ng Dyos ng trabaho sa Cebu, binigyan naman nya ako ng trabaho sa Lebanon...
eto na lang ang masasabi ko: NEXT!!!!
hindi din pala...ayoko eh...
pebi talking in gibberish again around 6:13 PM
Sunday, June 24, 2007
this is beyond insanity, rather irrational. hindi appropriate ang tulang ito ni Neruda sa sitwasyon, pero para syo pa rin ito..
If You Forget Me
by Pablo Neruda
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
sa baba ay ang Madonna rendition ng If You Forget Me. enjoy guys! sana kilabutan din kayo..*wink*
pebi talking in gibberish again around 9:50 PM
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
i am labeled "hyper" in IBM, but then i am not the type who'll just go wild around bunch of people i just know for 3 weeks... or so i thought..
last friday, my trainer caught me nearly fall asleep and as a consequence i have to dance. yes, that is her sole "punishment" to those who fail to follow the rules inside the training room. i rather easy punishment you may say, but it is far humiliating. good thing she's cute and really nice, i still like her although she made me dance Lady Marmalade all by myself..hahaha!!! can't believe i made christina aguillera's moves there..my colleague never realized i would.
now, i am not only "hyper", i am also the sublime Lady Marmalade.nah, i just coined the later.*wink*
pebi talking in gibberish again around 1:11 AM
Sunday, June 17, 2007
tune in to Jam 88.3 every Saturday, 9pm to 10pm. BIGKAS PILIPINAS is on air. it is a radio program dedicated to spoken word and poetry reading artists. to those who are into poetry reading or adventurous enough to try to listen to this genre, try this one. panalo ang programang ito!! joyce recommended it to me and my first experience gave me goosebumps.. that night a certain group who called themselves Los Indios Bravos performed and their performance pieces are focused on the agrarian reform and rape victims. grabe tlga! i nearly cried after the rape poem reading. the emotion evoked so much passion. grabe. natuwa din ako sa komento ng isa sa kanila. by the way, they never spoke a single single words. maliban na lang sa mga kalokohang hirit tulad ng "korek" at ilang salitang ingles na mahirap hanapan ng corresponding tagalog word . one of them even mentioned na sa kalakaran ng kultura ngayon, ang pag-iingles ay isang uri na ng status symbol. kung inglesero ko, matalino ka na. may ganoong stereotype. tang ina gusto ko sya apiran...then after their performance, the DJ played a poetry reading by Miranda Richarson and the piece is a Pablo Neruda poem. tang ina!!!!!goosebumps again... before the program ended, the DJ (Cookie Prieto if i'm not mistaken) did a poetry reading and the accompaniment is a Pink Floyd song/music. i never knew it was Pink Floyd's till joyce texted me..so their, astig pala tunog ng Pink Floyd...
sa mga nakaka-miss sa UP at sa cerebral environment nito, sa mga gusto ng magmedidate in a Saturday night, sa mga gusto ng ibang trip, sa mga gustong matuto, tune in to Bigkas Pilipinas
pebi talking in gibberish again around 5:02 PM
Friday, June 15, 2007
I remembered a conversation with Joyce months ago. She mentioned that one of her Collegian colleagues said that he would want Michael V to garner the highly coveted National Artist Award and he would even launch a campaign for it. It sounded a bit ridiculous, but I agreed without any objects. I figured then that there are so many talented individuals in this contemporary art realm that are not given such a prestigious recognition. Sure we know them by heart, we admire them and grow up with them, but our shallow appreciation to their talent is just limited to our awed amazement of their “eccentric” treatment of their medium.
First on my list, of course, is Michael V. Whoever can pull off such an intelligent piece of humour in this rather superficial entertainment industry today. Only few can marry wit and laughter and Michael V was able to do that without compromising fun. Also, I reckon Michael V is not virtually a human. He is, as a matter of fact, chameleon. Yes I really do believe in that. Come on!! He can be a fat-assed woman, an Indian selling umbrella, a drag queen, a politician, or anything, without us noticing it. We are just entranced by how he was able to get in to character and we are just so convinced on whatever it is he’s doing. He’s so natural.
Another potential National Artist recipient for me is none other than Jessica Zafra. She’s living the life I wanted for so long. Oh my gah! I just envy her. She can watch all the movies she wants and read all the books she wants. And above all, she writes well. Oh no, saying her writing is “well” is such an understatement. She writes vehemently and unapologetically. Above all, she is few of the contemporary writer in the country that who writes with substance but not lacklustre for the taste of today’s generation that suffers from short attention span.
Tito, Vic and Joey trio is also a potential candidate (although i have this thing against actors running/standing for public office). They hosted the longest running noon time show in the country, which apparently still rates and still highly patronized by many through this years. And for years their humour never faded. Until now i still enjoy their movies (especially those with Aiza Seguerra), i still laugh at their songs, and i still give them the respect they deserve. Sure most of the time we laughed whenever we watch them, but theat is a laughter of reverence. although they all have their individual endeavors, this didn't dissolve their magic as a group.
The sublime Bob Ong is also shorlisted. Haha!! Have he read this, I'm sure he'll chuckle because i affixed sublime to his name. i don't know how I knew it, i just know.*wink* just like Jessica Zafra, in the generation of attention deficit, Bob Ong was able to make reading the new "it" thing. He's writing must be dwelling more on the trivial, but the triviality he posted are those we often disregarded as parts of our lives. and i admire him for using Filipino as a medium, hence he was able to communicate to virtually everyone in the country who can actually read.. at first, we laughed at his commetaries, but eventually we begun contemplating on his thoughts. then we utter instantly "yes, he is so correct".
well them, what do you think? do you still have somebody in mind?suggestions are welcome..*wink*
pebi talking in gibberish again around 11:00 PM
Thursday, June 14, 2007
that's it, i am resigning...call center is just not the work for me.. sure natutuwa ako sa mga activity. as of now training pa lang naman kaya fun. masasayahin at mababait naman yung mga tao.. pero ayoko pumasok araw araw na parati na lang may apprehension...next week i'm resigning..wala akong pakialam kung wala na akong trabaho, at least i learned something..
saludo talaga ako sa mga tumatagal sa call center. ang taas ng threshold nila. whatever their motivations are, siguro effective talaga..nagugulo na ang sistema sa bahay. pati sistema ko nagugulo.. kaninang umaga naiiyak na naman ako. pagdating sa EDSA nakipagbuno pa ako sa mama na muntik akong pagnakawan. buti walang nakuha sa akin kasi bago pa man nya nagawa ang mga balak nya, nahuli ko sya. after ng incident na yun, pagdating ko sa IBM, wala na akong nagawa kundi umiyak sa mga kasamahan ko. nakakahiyaoo, dahil on a normal basis hindi ako umiiyak sa mga ganoong bagay. pero ika nga sa Psych101 dati, pag umiiyak na ang mga taong katulad ko ang personality (yung hindi masyadong emosyonal na nilalabas sa pagluha), ibig sabihin napuno na sya. iba yung iyak ko eh. sana talaga andon sila nea. natigil ang pagtulo ng luha ko after a few minutes, pero nawala ang tensyon ko nitong tanghali na lang. nasabi ko lang sa sarili ko, "that's it!i'm out.." pero natuwa naman ako kay mike, yung isa kong kasama sa IBM. tinanong nya ko "febbie suko na ba?", sagot ko "oo". sabi nya "wag, laban pa". i really appreciate that,pero paano mo ipaglalaban ang isang bagay na hindi mo naman kayang ipaglaban at wala kang lakas ipaglaban dahil hindimo talaga kayang gawin?
ngayon ko lang napatunayan na magugustuhin ko pa ang trabahong kahit hindi ako bayaran pero masaya ako. iba yung fulfillment eh.. hindi ako ang tipo ng tao na mabilis sumuko lalo na kung gusto ko ang ginagawa ko. dahil kung ganon ako, hindi siguro ako makakatapos sa UP on time. ang pamumuhay ko sa IBM ngayon ay may pagkakatulad din sa UP. madalas akong puyat nung kolehiyo, gaya ngayon. malayo din ang byahe ko. umabot sa punto nanahirapan ako at nag-iiniyak, pero diko isinuko ang UP. bakit? dahil i am having fun. sure magkaiba ang work sa school, pero pareho lang ang atake ng tao sa mga bagay na ito.hindi lang naman ako ang nagkakaproblema ng ganito. sila nea at jerick din.
tama si miguel, buti na yung maaga kami umabot sa mid-less crisis at ayaw namin sa una naming trabaho dahil ibig sabihin nito we wanted to grow. hindi lang kami basta nakokontento dito. mahal ko si miguel.
maybe i am still on to becoming the somebody i wanted. ayoko maging bayani, sikat o kung anu pa man. gusto maging ako. at siguro, hindi ko sa call center iiwan ang legacy ko....
pebi talking in gibberish again around 5:10 PM
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
i don't know if you've heard of this syndrome before, the so- called peter pan syndrome. if i'm not mistaken i has something to do with one person's pysche. yung tipong he/she never go old. habang buhay bata. pero sa case ko, ang tumama ata sa akin na mukhang something psychological. yes, if there is such thing as peter pan syndrome manifested through our emotional and mental state, i may be a victim.
i am seriously contemplating of quiting IBM after the product training. now i don't have any plans whatsoever of hitting the floor ( don't take it literally, it's just a call center jargon). hindi ko kaya ang ganoong buhay. sure i sleep at dusk every now in then nung sa kolehiyo pa ako, pero the following day walang pasok. pero ngayon, anak ng tokwa gusto ko ng mamatay!! my shift is really dragging me to the grave (no it's not a graveyard shift). tama si jerick, panalo ang mga tumatagal sa industriyang ito. saludo na din ako sa kanila. kahit pinuri ako ni george nung one-to-one namin, alam ko na hindi ako tatagal sa ganito. focus daw sabi nya, makafocus naman ako eh.siguro magkaiba lang ang perskpektibong tinitingnan namin. saan pumasok dito ang peter pan syndrome? feeling ko ngayon bata lang ako and i ought to be not working this hard just yet. siguro dala na di ng nature ng trabaho kaya ganito ang mentality ko. siguro kung asa CenPEG, Bayan Muna o Gabriela ako ngayon, kahit mababa ang sweldo, hindi siguro ako magkakaganito.
oo matanda na nga ako at kelangan ko maging mature. mature naman ako eh, it just so happened that i have so many things to whine about my present endeavor.
pebi talking in gibberish again around 1:04 AM
Sunday, June 10, 2007
just had my hair cut, again..hence the post title...hahaha!!
now i look like a dulce and gabbana couture girl..seriosly...
brace yourself...*wink*
pebi talking in gibberish again around 5:20 PM
my cousin, kuya mike, lend me his DVD copy of Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan..oo, dapat talaga buo yung title. i thought it's gonna be one heck of a laugh ride, i was wrong. it insinuated variety of emotions from me i didn't expect a comic movie can do. it was like Wildboys and Jackass with sense.
it was a rather seminal work if you ask me. well my knowledge regarding movies is just miniscule so i reckon this critique of mine is rather subjective. anyway, i find the concept unique. like a semi/pseudo- documentary. without any backgrounder anyone would have thought that i sascha baron cohen is an authentic kazakh and he is actually doing it for kazakh TV... well the hell i care what he really is, as far as i am concern i like borat's character,. though most of the time he makes fun of himself and we are actually laughing at him. though he seemd to be not aware of it...talk about blithe innocence. nah, maybe not!!
although at times i really got offended to some of borat's antics, i must say i admire the movie for being unapologetic. borat might have masturbated in public in broad daylight, or he might have invited a prostitute to a high society dinner, or he might have tried to put pamela anderson in to a "wedding sack", or the Jewish might have been seriously bashed, but the movie didn't give any justification to defend borat's actions. it's just plain cultural differences. i wonder if the kazakhs got offended on how borat portrayed them?
just a tip, if you just want to laugh out loud, leave your principles for 2 hours inside the fridge before you watch Borat. this, by the way, i didn't do. hence, my advice...*wink*
pebi talking in gibberish again around 5:10 PM
Friday, June 08, 2007
Weird enough, I never realized I will get extremely sad after my VA training in IBM. Unintentionally i i've been attached to them already and i never foresee that. i was really on the verge of quiting in day 1, pero ewan ko ba. natuwa na ako sa kanila.
I'm sad kasi for a month, magkakahiwalay kami for the process training. Ang sad lang talaga kasi yung mga kasing edad ko at medyo nakakausap ko sa VA (Virtual America/ Voice and Accent, depende sa panlasa mo), sa PBCom Tower sa Makati sila. Ako and the rest were assigned to Shaw.
Para sa mga taga IBM that made my first 2 weeks there worthwhile, para sa inyo to.
IAN- politics brought us together, though puro kalokohan naman tagala ang pinag-uusapan natin. Must be the orientation. Haha!!
JUSTIN- you’re so articulate. Buti na lang madaldal ka. I had fun talking to you. Thanks too for couching me before our final call simulation.
HADI- I had great time talking to you. Sana talaga day one pa lang nagkakausap tyo. I hope stick with your promise, or else I’ll break your neck. I really mean it. *wink* Good luck syo.
ERNIE- ewan ko ba pero natutuwa talaga ako syo..hahaha!!!
FOR THE REST- mabuhay kayo!! Hope to see you pa din after a month.
I see you when I see you.. Kudos to all!!
And above all, I want to thank GEORGE our trainer for not giving me and the rest of the class a traumatic experience during the VA training. Working with you is such a humbling and inspiring experience. I have my mind already focused in to something, whatever it is. IPAGPATULOY MO ANG IYONG ADHIKA. ISA KANG INSPIRASYON. MABUHAY KA!!
pebi talking in gibberish again around 11:05 PM
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Ang pananaw ng isang bum na political science graduate sa nakaraang eleksyon. In focus: ang senado.
- the moment Sen. Ralph Recto released his political ad by which he tried to use the EVAT for his advantage, I know that it was the end of his senatorial career, at least this elections. I even placed a beat on it. sabihin na natin na ang intentions nya sa pag-sponsor ng EVAT ay good, but the thing is the common tao are irated with this additional burden. Mahirap i-defend ang stand mo sa isang usapin kung mga taong apektado na kinakausap mo ay nagugutom at naghihirap. Why would they bother to scrutiny the pros and cons of EVAT. Magre-react ang tao ayon sa kasalukuyan nilang lagay sa buhay. Naghihirap na ang Pilipinas, bakit pa dadagdagan ng isa pang pahirap? Kaya Recto shouldn’t expect the people to understand his standpoint and eventually put him back to Senate. For the people, he is already the perpetrator of their misery. Though I extol Recto’s decision to go independent and “detach” his self from the apparent political bipolarization. At least pinakita nya na wala syang pinapanigan. Magandang start sana to kung may presidential aspirations sya. pero it seems it’ll be curtailed, dahil magbabalik senado daw sya sa 2010. my advice: goodluck.
- Bagito sa senado ang ilan sa mga nakapasok katulad nila papa chiz, noynoy at alan peter. Though yung ilan beterano na sa senado. I am expecting something different now. Pero makakaasa kaya tayo? I doubted it. Bakit? Dahil yung mga bagito na nabanggit ko ay beterano na din naman sa pulitika. Galing pa sila sa mga political clan. the Escuderos, Cayetanos, and who would forget the Aquinos. Sana naman kahit na nagmula sila sa old political families, their ideals are anachronistic. Bagong pulitika dapat, hindi trapo. Kaya I am really expecting something from these guys.
- the dark horse that is Antonio Trillanes III, who would have thought he will be able to make it to the 11th place? I rooted for him though. Naalala ko before sabi ng isang political analysis kaya daw nakapasok sa top 12 si trillianes dahil in a way the people wage a “political rebellion” against the present political situation. Para sa akin, its not about blindly voting for someone just to take vengeance against the present system, it is more of seeing hope anew from an idealistic man. I mean, come on! Whoever has the guts to wage a so- called mutiny in corporate makati just to get the attention of the government regarding the travails of the military? For some it was insanity and pure whimsical endeavors, to many (as manifested by the recent elections) it is audacity at its purest. Nakakita na flicker of hope ang tao kay trillianes na magdadala sya ng bagong pulitika sa senado. Kya binoto sya na tao. Same with the political scenarion in some part of the country tulad sa Pampanga. The best yun!! Kahit hindi ako kapangpangan, gusto ko manalo yung pari. Para matigil na yung reign ng mga political clan don. Sana ganon din karamihan na bahagi ng bansa.
- wala na ang magic ng mga artista apparently. Talo agad sila cesar montano at Richard Gomez. Natuto na din ang mga tao finally. Sure madami din naman nanalo sa local posts, pero ayaw na ipagkatiwala ng mga tao senado sa mga artista. People are now looking for ideals, not entertainment. They are now choosing substance over projection. I must say nagiging natalino na ang mga Pilipino. Kudos Filipinos!!
- kung mapapansin, lamang ang GO sa senatorial race at 2 lang from TU. Pansinin kung sino ang nakapasok from TU sa senado: Angara at Arroyo. In fairness matino ang track record ng dalawang ito. Although pareho silang post- Marcos politicians. I am Arroyo forever, I love this guy. hindi ako masyadong maka- Angara, pero ayon nga, may silbi naman sya. people now are really thinking I must say.
- I also commend Pangilinan, though hindi ko sya talaga gusto, for going independent. Kung mayroon man presidential ambition si Kiko, magandang start ang ginaawa nya ngayong eleksyon. Pero mas sinuwerte sya kay Recto. Dahil siguro kay Sharon. Hehe.
- though magulo pa din ang nakaraang eleksyon, I should say na this time people are able to exercise their political will freely (although yung political rights medyo questionable ba dahil sa dayaan and others). Ang mahalaga ngayon, kaya na natin magpumiglas sa shackle ng ineffective politics. Kaya na natin magsalita, through our votes, na gusto natin ng pagbabago sa sistema. Kaya sa lahat ng botanteng bumoto, MABUHAY TAYO. Sa mga botanteng hindi bumoto, WALA KAYONG KARAPATANG MAGREKLAMO.
pebi talking in gibberish again around 8:25 PM
ISS (Institutional Shareholders Service), called me yesterday while i'm in the middle of my training in IBM. Goodness bakit kasi ngayon lang tumawag tong ISS?! isang dekada ko silang inantay!! iniyikan ko pa to..hay naku..
anyway, may interview kami ni nea ng 2pm doon. kung pumasa kami, malamang job number 2 na ito. pero this time, wala ng bawian.
pebi talking in gibberish again around 6:45 AM
Saturday, June 02, 2007
seriously, i really need a shrink. feeling ko kasi i am suffering from depression. for two consecutive nights i was crying. wala na akong pinipiling lugar. i cannot even eat. iniisip ko na lang na kailangan ko kumain dahil i am already working at baka maging malnourished ako. i sporadically having my "silent"moments".
do i have a problem? i do not know if i really do. pwede kasing self-inflicted lang ang lahat. perondi ko talaga alam. all i know is, i am depressed. ang daming rason: family (though my family is really great, iba ang pinoproblema/iniisip ko), stress, love, everything. good thing i wasn't a serious suicidal type kaya buhay pa ako ngayon.
as i've said, i hate sympathetic people. they offer nothing except their unsolicited advises. what i need right know is someone that will just listen. say nothing, but understands where i am coming from. or at least, understand my laments.
i may be extrovert and talkative, but i am seldom listened by people. i am more of a listener. but nobody listens to me.
salamat pala sa kahit paano ay nakikinig. i love you whoever you are..alam mo na kung sino kaya..
pebi talking in gibberish again around 11:02 PM
Friday, June 01, 2007
night out kami kahapon after ng shift ko:ako, nea, jerick, ian, migs at harvey. from market!market!, tumungo kaming providence sa may likod ng lasalle taft para magvideoke.kamusta naman diba?haha..
isang nakakatawa/nakakatuwa/nakakatangang pangyayari.
antok na ko sa pagdating ng providence.
nagvivideoke ang miguel.
"hmm, kumanta na din kaya ako para mawala ang antok" i told my self.
la la la la la la, browse over the videoke song list.
la la la la la la, ayon!!!mukhang fun. wrong impression. alam ko lyrics nito.
enter number, insert coin.
ayan natugtog na.
"nea sabayan mo ko" sabi ko dahil nahihiya talaga ako kumanta ng namikropono.
Calling out, calling out.
Haven't you wondered
Why I'm always alone
When you're in my dreams
blah blah blah........................
Didn't want to leave you
With the wrong impression
Didn't want to leave youWith my last confession
Of love
Wasn't trying to pull you
In the wrong direction
All I wanna do is try and
Make a connection
Of love
blah blah blah........................AY PUTANG INA!!!!!
natigilan ako, hindi na ko kumanta...
i just made a wrong impression..seriously, no pun intended...
pebi talking in gibberish again around 10:53 PM
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